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From Puerto Rico -  to Amazon Piranhas -

 and lots in between! 

 

   

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From Puerto Rico -  to Amazon Piranhas -

 and lots in between! 

 

 

 

    A ‘Happy 2002’ to clients.  This 34,538 mile end of year Safari took me via the usual brain numbing maze of 14 plane flights to 7 different countries,  from mid December to mid January.   First up - 30 hours of flights,  airports and security check madness from Sydney-SFO-Washington-Miami.  This all commenced AFTER I’d been literally awake for 30 hours catching up with paperwork and overdue orders &c.   That Sheraton Biscayne Bay Hotel bed sure looked GOOD after 60 hours since last seeing a mattress!

 

    These marathon flights are pretty painless as I fly one airline all the time.   I book very cheap economy class tickets and they upgrade me in advance on every flight,  every trip,  to every destination.  And generally treat me like a king en-route at all times,  at all levels,  in all circumstances due to my highest level Elite flyer status with them.   

A 14½ hour flight in a quiet cabin lying flat upstairs with 2 metres of space in front of you,  after a bottle of Veuve Cliquot makes the time go pretty effortlessly!   Talk to me about these benefits and upgrades.   It can easily work for
you too!   If they awarded Doctorates in Airline and Hotel Tips,  I’d be an Emeritus Professor!  Right now I can get ANYONE reading this 5,000 free bonus miles for taking a flight to the USA – ask me. 

 

    From Miami [after a long sleep!]  a Caribbean Cruise on the  ‘Explorer Of The Seas’.   This is the world’s largest vessel.   Some 30% larger class than any other ship ever built.  She is 138,000 tons and only a year old,  so is not worn and tired like many liners.  

The Titanic’ weighed 46,000 tons and had a draft of 60 feet – this boat draws only 29 feet but is exactly TRIPLE ‘Titanic’s’ weight!   It is like a large Shopping Mall welded to a large Las Vegas theme Hotel,  welded to a vast boat deck and engines.  Words can’t even  begin to describe how massive she is.   Restaurants and bars everywhere,  3 swimming pools and 6 large outside Jacuzzis,  full size casino,  large cyber café,  basketball and golf  ranges,  huge rock climbing walls and scuba diving schools.  A massive 3 level concert theatre,  with spectacular shows and live acts and even a huge ice skating rink etc.   

The FOOD you can eat around the clock is ridiculous – all free in 10 locations.  
I must have put on 5 kg in a week a 30 day cruise would see me explode!   At    2 am you can phone room service for coffee,  juice,  a dozen choc-chip cookies,  a hamburger,  a pepperoni pizza or two,  and a tuna pita salad and a fresh fruit plate and it arrives a few minutes afterwards with a smile.   At 3 am you can decide on seconds!

 

    The cruise business took a huge whack after September 11.   Bookings vanished.   These big lines panicked madly,  and did not/could not cancel sail dates,  but just discounted insanely to fill them up.  Which is WHEN I booked!   $US723 including ALL port fees, taxes and other stuff.  For a huge top deck Suite with large fridge,  Queen bed,  huge bathroom,  big 4 person settee,  and nice floor to ceiling sliding glass doors and outer balcony and table etc.   

The old days of tiny inside cabins with single bunk beds,  or 18” diameter outside portholes are all history now if you search for deals on the NEW ERA super liners on the internet.  This cruise visited Bahamas,  Puerto Rico,  Virgin Is,  and Haiti.   And on the final day steamed right along the coast of Cuba.  Enjoyed Puerto Rico most.   Took a day trip right up high into a tropical  rainforest after an early morning walk around the very old town of
San Juan – one of the oldest cities in the Americas – discovered and named on Columbus’ 1493 voyage.

 

    After the cruise flew from Miami on the 9 hour flight to the massive city Sao Paulo in Brazil – which at 20 million has a larger population than the country of Australia.   My third visit to Brazil at year end in past 4 years.   From Sao Paulo a flight to Iguassu Falls and a few days at the superbly located Das Cataratas Hotel,  sited on the edge of the Falls. 

 
I’ve spent Christmas Day at this Hotel 3 times in the past 16 years and it is ALWAYS quite wonderful.   The only Hotel in the huge unpopulated
Iguassu National Park.   You hear the roar of the giant falls from your room.   I’ve visited Niagara and Victoria Falls several times,  and even Angel Falls in Venezuela,  the world’s highest,  but none come close to the size and majesty of Iguassu.  There had been heavy rain in Brazil that week [in fact 100s died in Rio flooding] so the water level was the highest and fastest I’ve experienced,  adding to the usual spectacular effects.  

Took a day trip to the Argentinean side of the Falls on
Christmas Day.   That side is less organized and poorly accessed IMO,  but nonetheless also superb.   NO visitor to Iguassu should ever visit only one side - both are quite different.  And do take the zodiac boat ride.  

There were large families of the bizarrely cute
QUATI animals running around both sides – big things with long pointy snouts,  and long banded tails.   Also saw a lot of the magnificent Toucan birds in the wild there quite close – my favourite flying bird without doubt.   (But Antarctic penguins beat the lot!)   The violent riots,  looting of supermarkets,  and massive political crisis and 50% devaluation Argentina faced at that time saw me glad to be back in Brazil!

 

    From Iguassu a flight back to Sao Paulo,  connecting right up to the Amazon and MANAUS.   Brazil is a quite massive country –  much larger than either the continental USA or Australia,  so that flight is a Perth - Sydney or LAX - NYC type distance.   I’ve been at different times in the past to the Amazonia regions of Peru,  Brazil,  Columbia,  Venezuela and Ecuador.   Sadly Manaus has changed little since my last visit in mid 1980s.   

Still rather run down ‘Wild West’ sort of place.   Its sad,  weary and basically single landside tourist attraction is the small century old  Opera House – a reminder of the wild and lucrative ‘Rubber Boom’ days and mucho money.   If you make the effort to get OUT of the city and into the Amazon jungle it gets much more interesting.

 

    Manaus is situated on the banks of the River Negro.   Nearly all tourists go out by boat to see the ‘meeting of the waters’ and simply go back to their hotel after that.  This natural phenomenon is where the faster flowing  ‘clean’ Amazon refuses to mix with the dark tannin stained River Negro for quite some distance,  due to greatly differing temperature and PH levels.   Looks like Neapolitan ice cream!   

Do allow the extra time to go more into the
Amazon jungle area.   Walks through the rain forest are fascinating,  to see massive trees,  the giant Victoria Lily pads,  and swamps full of aggressive big Caymans. [Alligators.]

 

    Took a beat-up old trawler into the Amazon with a gung-ho ‘Crocodile Dundee’ sort of local guide.  He was happy to jump into the lagoons at night wrestling Caymans after spotlighting their eyes etc.  Visited Indian villages,  saw 3 toed sloths,  macaws and anacondas,  and took a canoe ride for a few hours to go fish for PIRANHAS.   Caught quite a few [and a lot of catfish.]  An old Indian lady battered and fan fried a few bigger ones,  and they were yummy.  

 
I’ve caught Piranha before,  and no skill is needed at all,  but watch out for those razor sharp teeth.   Just a wobbly pole,  2 metres of fixed line,  a hook and any kind of fish or meat pushed onto the hook,  and you are
Rex Hunt in moments.   Piranhas start nibbling madly as the hook enters the water!   Really great fun.  The mad guide took a long swim in the exact spot where I was hauling in Piranhas.   He was truly nuts!

  

   From Manaus a 2am (!) flight to Sao Paulo,  then to Rio De Janiero.   Have visited here several times before,  and it simply is the prettiest major city on earth.  So green, with lovely attractive peaks & mountains in the city centre.  The Brazilian Real is still very weak too,  so things are cheap.   The 1 hour brand new air conditioned bus ride from the It’l airport (GIG) in airline type seats costs just $US1½.   It is truly a de facto city tour taking you right through Downtown,  and via Santos Dumont city airport,  and drops you literally at front door of your Copacabana or Ipanema beachfront hotel.  The best value airport bus service on earth.

 

   All Hotels in Copacabana or Ipanema with beach views cost about FOUR times usual rates for NYE.   Literally.   No deals,  no upgrades,  no favours,  no exceptions.   MINIMUM  3 or 4 night booking,  paid up-front, and totally non-refundable for ANY reason whatever.   I spent last NYE here,  and loved it so much decided to return.  My advice is to ONLY book something along Ave Atlantica with a beach view.   Yes it costs – but an inside room,  or a place a block or 3 back is simply NOT  ’being there’.   Copacabana Beach is a living,  pulsating,  exciting place for 24 hours a day.   Experiencing NYE there is a  ‘must do before I die essential if you like adventure destinations.   Nearly everyone,  [me included] dressed entirely in white.  White top,  white pants, white shoes.   On the naturally dark skinned tanned local ‘cariocas’ this looks superb.   On pasty skinned Stevo this is not so great a look!   Fireworks and craziness everywhere.   Another tradition is to toss long stem lilies and roses into the sea all day as an offering to some Saint,  and 1000s are floating about in the surf.  Went with some flyer friends in the afternoon to a Porcão,  at Ipanema -  the traditional Brazilian meat BBQ feast.  Waiters keep besieging you with steaming skewered cooked meat of all kinds and sausages - until you explode.   Takes HOURS to get through it all.   One fixed price – a great experience.  

 

   New Year’s Eve in Rio is renowned for its fireworks.  Two MILLION people gather along the sands of Copacabana Beach at midnight.   Another flyer friend invited me to his top floor apartment right next to the fabled Copacabana Palace to see in the New Year.   The N.Y.E. 2000 [and the years before] fireworks were fired directly upwards from the sands the 2 million folks stood upon,  and exploded right over your head.  I gotta tell you last year was the most astounding NYE experience I ever sat through, and I’ve experienced NYE in 30 top places worldwide.   

Fully 30 minutes of it non-stop.   Sadly whilst very visually striking this dangerous practice literally killed people and seriously injured dozens more each year.  Missing eyes,  severe burns – that kind of thing.  So for December 31, 2001 the City Fathers decided to launch fireworks from barges moored in the pretty horseshoe shaped harbour.   Some massive cruise liners anchored nearby.   Millions of folks on the beach watched on but it was not quite the same.   

From my very elevated panoramic viewpoint it was quite spectacular,  but those down on the sand disagreed.  Huge negative feedback.  The next day the Tourism Minister concurred and in future promised twice as many barges,  twice as many fireworks,  and all a lot closer to shore.   So book NOW for 
January 31,  2002  is my sincere advice!  (Hey – I may even see you there!)

 

No trip to Rio is complete without a trip up the 2 long cable car rides to the very summit of the ‘Sugar Loaf’ [Pão de Açúcar] almost in the city centre.   From there you see Copacabana Beach,  the wonderfully located Santos Dumont city airport,  and the ‘Christ The Redeemer’ Corcodovo massive statue etc, etc.   A truly super vista.   All only a $A1 public bus ride from your Hotel plus modest entry fee.  (So do NOT book a $US40 p/p ‘guided tour’ as most first time visitors do – ditto for Corcodovo!)   I guarantee you,  Rio has more public buses,  more often,  than ANY other city on earth – no contest.  One I was in had a nasty smash with another.  Ride as long as you like for US50¢.  A bargain – there are no sectors – 50¢ for 100 metres, or 50¢ for 10 miles!

 

   The insane hotel rates at NYE aside,  food and drink in Rio is ridiculously cheap at all times – even then.  You can sit at an elegant Copacabana beachfront outdoor café/restaurant,  served by white jacketed olde-world waiters,  and watch the AMAZING passing parade of barely clad bodies,  buskers and persistent hucksters all within arms reach etc.  All this whilst sipping an ice-cold  ‘Antarctica’  beer costs less than $US1 including service charges.  

A light meal there costs a few $ more.  Quite an experience to while away the hours,  and you’ll find this possible nowhere else near so inexpensively at a #1 tourist site.  From Rio flew down to Porto Alegre,  way down south of Brazil near the Uruguay border.  This is a very clean,  very pleasant University/Business city.   Stayed in the just completed Sheraton –  really superb.  Better than you’d find anywhere in the USA.  Took a cruise through all the wooded islands at their front door –  it claims to be the ‘greenest’ city in Brazil – I can believe that.

 

   Back to Sao Paulo,  then catch the long flight to Miami,  and endure the INSANE USA customs and security lines there.  Airport security in the USA some 4 months after 9/11 gets dumber and slower,  not smarter.  They X-Ray shoes,  and confiscate nail clippers and eyebrow tweezers.    All painfully slowly.    But on domestic flights do not positive match your checked SUITCASE which for all they know contains 20 kg of semtex and an altimeter fuse set for 1,000 metres.  A terrorist would not even have to board a flight.  Bin Laden is history,  lets wise up and move on.   He and his kind have been dealt a deadly response,  but it is over now.   Those squads of dorky looking National guardsmen in head-to-toe jungle camouflage uniforms clutching loaded heavy assault rifles at all airports makes me feel I am in Laos,  Cuba or  Zaire  etc.   Not in the alleged:  ‘land of the free’.  

 

   And I am not exaggerating – between Sept 11 and Feb 17  I will have flown over 90,000 air miles on USA airlines,  so am in a VERY informed position to comment.  The USA should go back to pre 9/11 ‘normal’ security and stop being so paranoid.  Flying anywhere in the USA is a MAJOR pain in the neck process for everyone right now,  and yet is no safer than before.  Despite this new insanity,  during January three US based X-Rays failed to detect a Swiss Army knife left inadvertently in a carry-on from Brazil.   

Flying is now,  and has ALWAYS been a
LOT safer than the cab ride to the airport.   Think about it.   And every USA highway,  every minute of every day has guys with zero background checks driving huge Mack trucks hauling a zillion gallons of propane or gasoline etc,  at 75 mph.   No-one seems to have considered one of these driven head first into a key building will be W.T.C. Mark #2,  and worse,  no-one seems to care,  but they still want to take my stamp tweezers off me under armed guard.

 

  Back to Miami then a 5 hour flight to Los Angeles,  and a $US28 night Suite at the Sheraton LAX,  to sleep for 5 hours,  then board the 14½ hour flight back home.  ANYONE who wants to know how to book $US30 type Hilton/Sheraton/Marriott/Hyatt rooms in ANY US/Canada/Aust/Europe city at anytime please contact me.  I save about $2,000 a year via this simple method.   It will cost you a bottle of nice champagne though!  Back to the usual mountain of faxes,  letters and phone messages.  There were way over 1,200 emails – the majority ‘Spam’ but still a lot of legit messages to attend to.  My Latest list   J - 1  is loaded up now on www.GlenStephens.com/J-1.html - please go check it out.  My Mastercard account now looks like the Cambodian GNP figure!

 

Cheers … Glen.  January, 2001.



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